Method 1:
1) Think of tapping your foot to the beat. Then put your foot on the bass drum and tap it on the beat.
2) Add hitting a cymbal at same time. (these are quarter notes).
3) When you can hit bass & cymbal steady, then add snare drum every other hit. Its like a '4 on the floor' beat. This is the 2 & 4 of 4/4.
4) When that's cool, start hitting cymbal twice as much - These are 8th notes.
5) Do that forever.
6) Don't hit bass drum when you hit the snare.
7) Start adding extra bass notes (on the 8ths that cymbal does).
8) Go Wild ! ! !

Method 2: (starts with a 'beat')
1) Before you try the 'correct' method of crossing arms to play hat & snare - try my method (I ride with left hand, snare with right, bass drum on right). To do this, think of walking: your arm & legs move in OPPOSITE directions.
         a) when right foot goes down (bass on 1) left hand goes down (on hat)
         b) when right foot is up (on 2 ) left foot is down (closing hat) & right arm goes down hitting snare.               IT'S LIKE WALKING!

If you must cross arms, do opposite of walking; right foot down & right hand hit hat on 1, then down on 2: left side (left foot close hat, left hand hit snare).

2) Whether you play left or right riding, when you have this 'walking' (or reverse walking) beat down, try to keep riding hat or ride cymbal when hitting snare (quarter notes) - then add tapping foot.

Method 3:
1) Tap bass drum to beat
2) Add twice as many high hat hits (2 hits for every bass drum hit)
3) Add snare every 2 or 4 bass drum hits
4) Go Wild!

    These are concepts I learned while teaching myself to play.

Practice these slowly with a metronome!

Once you can play beats, try writing your own beats & fills.